3. Being love
“These are my 5 values that I choose every day” I said to a friend whom I was catching up with at a dinner awhile ago.
She looked at me and laughed and goes “You’re such a hippie”.
“How does this make me a hippie?” I immediately asked.
“Because who even lives like that anyway.” she replied
“Not enough people” I said proudly.
To be honest I am not quite sure what she meant by it’s a “hippie way of living,” and I really don’t care enough to delve into the meaning because the reason I am telling this to you today is to show you that once you are able to let go of your stereotypes and judgements you will be able to step into your power of authenticity.
Have you ever taken a second to think about what you are put on this earth to do?
Have you ever taken a second to think about your values or ones you wish to adopt?
Have you ever taken a second to look at your life and see what you want to do differently before it’s too late?
Have you ever even taken a second to see all the beautiful things that make you YOU?
Or what about the traits you encompass that attract a partner into your life?
Take a second to think deeply on these questions.
Write them down- KNOW them.
I started to wonder these answers for myself.
What was my truth?
What was my purpose?
What did living authentically mean for me?
See my values now aren’t even traits I learned as a kid.
My values are traits I learned over the years and have adopted them deeply enough to a point that I don’t even know how not to live authentically without it feeling weird and fake.
If you asked me years ago I would say my values were Honesty, Success, Compassion, and Loyalty– those are the values I was raised with, those are the values that my family has modeled for me.
When I started my journey to inner happiness, personal freedom and deeper relationships, I realized my values didn’t even align with me properly- they felt so flat and vague- i wanted more depth.
I mean of course those are important to me but the new one’s that I have learned better aligned with my life.
I was able to see things so much more clear and so much more free by realizing that all I needed to do was live in my authenticity.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with the term authenticity it means to live in a way that you are completely you- showing up in your truth, in your honesty, in who you are as a person, consciously and subconsciously every moment of every day.
I learned how to show up. Show up in my job, in my daily life, friendships, and love relationships.
What I did was let go of the idea that I was living for other people.
That their opinion mattered and guided my life. I was able to really step into my own power as a women and a person.
Once you are able to adapt this way of thinking, your relationships become infinitely deeper.
In relationships, all I had to do was let go of the idea that I had to filter myself for fear of coming off “crazy”.
But why is speaking your truth in relationship crazy?
Why is telling the guy you’re crushing on that you are into him and that he’s super EFFING good-looking?!
I’ll tell you right now- it isn’t!
Living in Authenticity actually does two things for you in regards to relationship.
First, it allows you to weed out the guys that aren’t right for you- if they can’t accept you for who you are early on, then you’re not as invested and can easily let them go.
Second, if the guy is right for you, then it opens the door for them to show up in their authenticity with you. What you are then creating is a much deeper, more fulfilling, transparent relationship.
Don’t you want a relationship that you don’t always have to wonder what they’re thinking, if they’re seeing other people or how they are feeling?
Doesn’t it sound exciting and free?
Being authentic in your relationship, can create such a deep soul connecting intimacy that is full of passion, love, acceptance, trust and so much effing fun because it’s complete flow!
I want you to be able to show-up in every moment of every day and be you FULLY inside and outside of love.
Here are 5 quick ways to live authentically in life and in love that you can adapt to make yours right now!
Presence is the key to authenticity. Ever remember in class when your teacher would say “BE HERE NOW” when you were dozing off, passing notes or chatting with your bestie? Well I’m going to tell you the same thing. Be here now!
We spend so much time thinking of future outcomes that we get so wrapped up in it and are unable to enjoy the present moment.
If you can just mindfully be present in every moment in your life you will feel immediately more full and alive. You will no longer allow life to flash before you- you will be in the front seat on the ride of your life!
In relationships, have you ever heard or said- “you’re not even here right now” when you’re standing in front of your partner, or “You’re not hearing me”, “You don’t even see me”, “You’re not even here right now”.
If you are able to shift yourself presently you will be able to fully hear and see your partner for who they are.
You are in that moment with them, holding space for them if they need to talk, having their back when they need you to, being a shoulder to lean on, loving them always in the present.
You then let go of all those thoughts of “what if” because you are presently enjoying the ride!
Be honest at all times. This means complete honesty- no masks or armor here. When you are completely honest you are in the most authentic part of yourself.
Don’t hold back, express yourself kindly of course, but express yourself.
Be you, don’t be who others want you to be or think you are.
In relationship- being completely honest and transparent creates deep intimacy.
Vulnerability is key here.
Yes, sometimes it can be scary but the more vulnerable you are the more vulnerable your partner will be. Without complete honesty and vulnerability you won’t be able to get that soul love that will change your life.
Self-full is when you are fulfilled because YOU yourself are taking the steps to create the fullness in your own life. You are un-reliant on others to make you happy or waiting for the other shoe to drop for something to happen.
You take life by the horns.
You pursue your passions, you make sure that you are loving yourself, taking care of yourself and fulfilling your own needs.
In relationship- this is super important because it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy- it’s yours.
Your happiness is solely dependent on you.
If you are able to create your own life separate to your partner, than you are able to feel more self-full, more independent and live fully next to your partner rather than as one with your partner.
This also will take immense amount of pressure off your relationship.
Allow positivity inward and outward.
Here’s the thing, if you have a negative mindset you are guaranteed to have negative outcomes in situations, in fact there was recently an article published that explained if you have negative thoughts that changes your brain chemistry negatively.
Let’s not do that ladies. Let’s think positively and create awesome lives full of happy things. It’s super possible and a quick fix.
Any time you have a negative thought change it to positive- do that for 30 days and I promise you that your life will change for the better.
In relationship- positivity is SO important. Why dwell on things that you don’t need to? Why create a black hole of negativity and nagging?
Just be present, positive and enjoy the moments with your partner!
Don’t worry until you have to worry- and even then, probably don’t worry because you’re living in your authenticity and are being true to yourself.
Accept everyone for who they are. When someone shows you who they are please believe them. That will help you accept. You will need to let go of your judgments and stereotypes.
Living authentically is you being your truest you- so why not accept everyone else for who they are?
Once you are able to live in this, you will feel lighter and more free.
In relationship- acceptance is love, and love is acceptance- get it?
You are unable to love someone unconditionally without accepting them for who THEY are right now, not who they were in the past or who YOU want them to be- RIGHT NOW!
Just like you want them to accept you in your authenticity you will need to accept them as well.
Don’t try to change them, it’s not worth it and it’s not going to get you that soul deep love connection that living your authenticity brings.
Love them for them. SIMPLE.
Authenticity is my jam, I can’t express that enough. I live like this every moment of every day without apology.
Living in this way has allowed me to live fully, feel more alive and create more meaningful friendships and relationships.
So I ask you, why not try it- See what it brings you.
I’ll dive deeper into what soul deep connections are later this week- so stay tuned, subscribe to my newsletter and in the meantime, live in the now- live in your YOU.
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