This weird thing happened this weekend, I took it easy and had quiet time all night Friday and all day Saturday which is super rare for me.
See recently I’ve had a jam packed schedule so I have to actually plan certain hours or days to be my “quiet” time.
For me, this time could be binging on Netflix, meditating for a few hours, going on a hike, to the beach solo, or reading a good book. Just that bit of quiet time re-charges me and gets me ready for the upcoming week.
In my quiet time I usually don’t check my phone and focus on disconnecting, which means that I likely won’t respond to texts until my quiet time is over unless it’s urgent of course.
But I got to thinking, we all have allowed ourselves to get super busy and forget about responding to texts, we have adopted this excuse of busyness to not respond.
We have adopted this idea of even ghosting people (stop responding when you’re not interested in continuing dating someone) and things of that nature.
Think about it, how many times have you responded
“Sorry I have been so busy”
“Sorry I haven’t checked my phone”
So my question is, are we even that busy that we can’t nurture our connections?
What I have noticed recently, is that, I have completely forgotten to respond to texts from days ago.
But here’s the thing, we all do it. We all let our connections fall to the waistline for some kind of instant gratification.
We are in the time of Amazon dating- that everything has to be immediate.
But the thing is that’s with everything. Everything needs to be right now or we don’t make it important to us.
Our friend from far away texting us, vs the friend here texting you about plans for tonight- think about who gets priority in your text inbox?
The guy who want’s to take you out tonight vs the guy who want’s to take you out next week- whoever is your first choice will be your priority and the other will likely get that “busy” text right?
OR you’ll have you read receipts on and just not respond all together.
What have we become?
This mindset we have created, has made us so disconnected to human connection that we lack keeping in touch with people.
We all do it, if you’re reading this and are thinking that you haven’t well you’re likely lying to yourself I’m sorry.
So what I’m proposing is, we stop pretending we are too busy for people and to respond to their simple text messages.
Responding to a text takes about 5 seconds and it doesn’t take much time out of your day.
Listen, we definitely have the same hours in a day as Beyonce, and I’m sure Beyonce is sure as hell responding to texts.
We need to be better at this connecting thing- we need to change our mindset.
If someone takes the minute out of their day to actually pick up a phone and call you, you should give them the same respect back because no one even calls each other anymore.
I am probably a rare one that prefers calling over text but I would say about 60% of the calls I make go unanswered because people have lost the idea of making the time to actually speak.
We really need to make more time for people, for that human connection.
We need to get out of this idea of instant gratification, just slow down, enjoy the present, embrace the process of life, and if you become timely at responding to texts they will too.
.
Here are 6 simple fixes to get back to connecting with people who reach out to you.
- Take time at the end of the day to check your phone and see who you haven’t responded to.If you legitimately don’t have time to call people sometimes like I do, call them in your car on speaker phone so you can drive safely and return your calls. My car has bluetooth and this is how I’ve been able to be better at making calls.
- Take a second each day and tell one person how much you appreciate them. Make sure it’s a different person each day, but they will appreciate it so much.
- Write gratitude cards to the most influential people in your life, they will love that you took the time to actually write.
- Stop using the busy excuse- be honest, tell someone that you were in a meeting or you actually forgot to text them back- people will appreciate that much more then just telling them you were busy.
- Understand that you make time for what you want to make time for. Ask yourself why aren’t you making time for that person you haven’t texted back.
Those are super quick fixes and make a world of a difference.
Personally, not only have I committed to these 6 fixes above but I have also committed to responding during my quiet time going forward because let’s be honest, we really aren’t that busy- it’s just an excuse we make ourselves think to mask the fact that we aren’t making the time.
So, take today to slow down, be present, and get back to human connection.
We have to start somewhere.
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