Uncertainty is great for your relationship, I promise.

Sometimes you just need to get out.

Get out of your every day life, get out of your relationship and go far away.

That’s what I told my boyfriend at least.

Before you think that this story is going a certain way, hear me out.

The past month has been rough for my boyfriend and me. A situation occurred that I just couldn’t get over for weeks. I found myself becoming resentful and being quick to fight with after the fact.

That has created many issues for us.

A constant trigger hamster wheel of death.

He triggers me, I react and trigger him, he shuts down, I fight it and so on and so on. We were just in this space that we couldn’t escape it as hard as we tried.

So anyway, last week we were going through it hard. We were seeing ourselves in this place that we both didn’t like. I was crying like most of us women do and he was getting angrier and angrier.

I went to him and said well, we have 3 options, we break up, you go away for a few days to re-center yourself or we just say EF it and drop all this crap and pretend it didn’t happen.

Okay of course the latter was quite unrealistic especially when you’re in this moment of time with all the fighting.

So he chose option two. He went away for the weekend. He didn’t go far, in fact he just checked in at hotel about a mile away. We agreed not to speak much throughout the weekend so he can get the much needed space that he was looking for.

Here’s the thing, as a hyper feminine emotional women, this was the hardest thing for me, the not talking to the man I so deeply love. Do you know just how hard that was?

Obviously I did my own thing, I got a massage, had lunch with a girlfriend, dinner with my other girlfriend and of course binge watched Friends because NETFLIX.

Even though I having fun, there was this thing missing, I mean of course right? This is the man that I have this magical love with, this is the man that I have whole heartedly shared myself with. It pained me at night to text him and not hear back from him except for an I love you one night. But I knew it was for the best.

I took the empty time and filled it with reflections, meditations, journaling and even a full moon release ritual. I took advantage of the not knowing to work on myself. I have things that I needed to let go of before he came home in order for things to get better.

What that meant was being able to sit in the uncertainty of the weekend. The not knowing of literally anything really. As much as I was sad, It was the greatest thing ever. I was able to work on my own shit deeper than I could have if he was in my face.

Even though I have never really been okay with uncertainty this time I grew to BE okay with it. Because uncertainty is where all the growth happens. Uncertainty is where you really sit in it and you really deal with things. But most importantly, uncertainty is where you remember to ground yourself.

You get back in touch with “self” and remember that you are completely fine. You were completely fine before him, you are completely fine with him and you will be completely fine without him if that happens.

You can’t sit there dwelling on the idea of losing your partner because what I have learned is that it’s completely unhealthy.

You can’t lose someone you never really “have”. There’s no way that you can give yourself to someone and be a real person.

In the idea of relationship, we merely just share ourselves with our partner. We are all complete beings without them. WE are amazing beings without them and become even more amazing with them simply by their ability to enhance us.

So the idea of uncertainty IS scary.

The not knowing, the blank space that you just sit in without any which way to go since you literally have zero idea what will happen. But I want you to sit in it next time, Don’t pester your partner with a million questions wondering if you guys will be okay. Remember that YOU will be okay no matter what.

Know that every moment that is happening to you is exactly as it should be. Embrace it. When you’re faced with uncertainty just remind yourself of this.

And don’t forget, If your partner needs space give it to them. It’s the best thing that you could ever do.

You want them to come back to you fresh and ready to conquer the world with your hand in theirs.

So embrace the uncertainty girl, and remember that no matter what you will ALWAYS be okay.