Your Relationship WILL Suck Sometimes

 

We have been told since little girls that your relationship should never be hard.

It should literally be the easiest thing you’ll ever do. Complete rainbows and butterflies…. also complete untrue.

Your relationship is work. It will never be completely easy. It will NEVER be rainbows and butterflies unless  of course you just don’t ever discuss your issues and live in an ice castle where you tiptoe on eggshells, which let’s be honest no one does that.

I mean okay, here’s the deal, EVERY relationship SUCKS sometimes and that’s completely okay.

We all go through it, we all go through those periods of constant fighting and disconnection.

The key is, when your relationship gets hard, is to go deeper into it.

If you are quick to walk away well then you are taking the easy road, and the easy road is the place where zero growth happens.

Let me tell you a story to make this more clear;

My recent EX-boyfriend and I lived together, traveled together and worked at home together…basically what this meant was we had very long periods where we were constantly around each other. This caused what I like to call a “sticky glue” period. The sticky glue period is where you are glued together but it’s a sticky situation. (I know cheesy) Anyway, so we were in this sticky glue period and what happened  was that we were so on top of each other that we couldn’t un-glue ourselves and began to constantly fight.

During this period of constant fighting, I actually became addicted to the fighting in a sense. I was fighting and fighting and fighting about the same thing that we had discussed dozens of fights before…. I couldn’t stop until I felt okay.  But what I wasn’t doing was thinking of my partner and how it was effecting him.

See EVERY woman can become addicted to the fighting. What happens is that once your partner is disconnected from you, the only way you can find the connection is through the arguments.

This period went on for weeks, it was draining, overwhelming, and even sad. We were at a standstill and we could have given up. And some may even say that we should have. That to them the amount of work we were doing to hang on to us wasn’t healthy.

We decided to stay and work through it, like really work through it. Talk about deep seeded triggers, how we were making the other feel, what we could accept and what we couldn’t accept. We worked through it, went deeper with each other and are still working together every single day, because relationship work is a constant ever changing process that helps you learn more about yourself than you could every imagine.

But what we were going through is completely normal and us not giving up WAS okay. In fact it was the best thing that we could have done during that time.

Your girlfriends will always have an opinion on your life and your relationships… but do your girlfriends really give you the best relationship advice? The answer is maybe, but they aren’t in your relationship to know the intricacies and the going’s on.

They tell us to leave relationships when things get hard, that we deserve a relationship where things are easy.

The advice they are giving us is to give up and walk away. I mean we all do it, we all tell other women this.

But what if we changed the game and said this “well what are you doing to add to this situation?” Because let’s be real, we always discuss what our partners are doing to us and not what we are doing to them.

How about instead of telling them to leave as long as nothing is inherently wrong like they were not cheated on, abused or anything of that nature, we tell them to stay.

Staying during a time of hardship and working through your issues will be the best thing you can ever do for your relationship. That’s where the growth happens.

You begin to see yourself and your partner in a different light. You are able to pinpoint exactly what you are also doing and where those triggers lie. You begin to learn about yourself in ways that you probably saw before.

Surprise your relationship becomes better because of this growth.

So stop listening to the advice that you’re getting and understand that you and your partner are really this only one’s that truly understand your relationship.

And remember, your relationship will be work sometimes but that’s completely normal, don’t take the easy route and walk away…. choose to stay and choose to grow.

 

 

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below 🙂