Judgements, The Little “thing” We Put in Boxes.

Take that box and smash it into a million pieces.

I’m sitting here in beautiful Mexico. The sky is overcast, about to downpour.

I just got off the phone with my mom who lives over 3,000 miles away.

Every time I get off the phone with her I’m either really happy or really sad, right now it would be the latter.

What does this have to do with relationships you are probably asking, well give me a minute and I’ll explain.

See, I had a rough year with my mom when I was 17 as does a lot of us right?

My mom being a mother of 5 (me the oldest) has a lot on her plate.

But see the problem is that she sometimes holds those few years so deep in her heart that she has the inability to see ME.

She still see’s this 17 year old girl, not the 27 year old responsible woman that I am.

I just can’t seem to get out of this box that she has put me in, locked me up and stored in her mind library for the last 10 years.

No matter what happens in my life that I share with her she has lost the ability to get to know me as this woman in this moment.

It hurts of course, knowing that she may never know me deep down, maybe parents aren’t supposed to? Maybe they are, but either way they shape our lives until the end of time.

This box that I am buried in I just can’t seem to get out of. I share my accomplishments, my funny stories, my life with this woman and she can’t seem to just open her eyes.

There can be the littlest drama in my life as we all deal with on occasion, and she will find a way to make it my fault no matter what happens. I could have crossed the street and got yelled by a crazy person and she would still make it my fault like I did something to this hypothetical crazy person.

Do you know how disappointing and suffocating that is?

This is a woman, my mom that I love so unconditionally so deeply who of course, she loves me and wants what’s best for me but sometimes, she just can’t even SEE Me.

Here’s the thing.

This is something we ALL do.

We ALL put certain people in our lives, in this “box”.

This box that gets stored in our mind library to never be re-packed again with new items, just antiques of that person.

I have done this with probably almost every ex-boyfriend that I ever had. I have put them in this box, and decided who they were immediately and never re-opened it again.

What that does is prohibit us from actually SEEING these people in our lives. When we do this we are lacking the ability to allow people to change.

It’s basically our brains way of protecting us from getting hurt… AKA our Ego.

But by letting the EGO lead the way, we are seeing who they were not who they are. 

People change every day…. and in relationships your partner will screw up at one point and will want to change for you.

What we need to do is stop this subconscious habit in it’s tracks let these boxes get thrown in the trash, for we will become so much lighter women than we currently are.

Of course we all have had times of being wronged by a partner but what if we gave people a chance to show up afterwards?

I used to write a man off immediately once they have messed up. We all do it, lose trust, lose the ability to see them, to allow them to show us that they can at least try to change.

But what if I told you there is a simple way to just let all this shit go, because there is.

All we have to do is look inside ourselves. It really comes from within you not them.. because it’s all about your perspective.

Once you are able to shift your perspective things become a lot simpler.

This is how you will do it; One word, pretty straight forward.

Forgiveness

I want you to be able to forgive your current partner, your ex-partner, your parent, your friend, anyone in your life that has ever done something that has made you so beyond upset, that you still hold that “box” deep in your mind library to never open again.

What I want you to do is open your mind library, right now.

Open all of those deep seeded, dust surrounded boxes in your mind. ALL of them one by one. Maybe you have one, maybe you have 5, maybe you have 10. Whatever that number is I want you to know firstly that it is perfectly okay and normal.. we all have them.

Here’s how:

First, Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, repeat that 3 times, nice and deep, through your whole body, feel it, connect with it.. BE it.

Now, think about who they are. Who is this person, what are they or were they to you?

What did they do?

Where are they now?

What are your current interactions like if any?

Really think deeply about what happened and go so deep and think about your mindset during that time.

Think about what in your past created that mindset that you had at that moment.

Maybe it was something from your childhood that brought certain feelings into that moment, maybe something from high school, college, travels, past relationships whatever it was. Because we bring our experiences into every moment of our lives.

Now, Where is this feeling sitting in your body? Is it in your throat, your head, your stomach, your toes?

Think about, sit with it, surrender to it.

Once you are ready, breathe in all these feelings, and exhale them all out one by one.

Breathe in forgiveness for this person so deep that it reaches your soul. And breathe it out so far that it reaches them.

Open your eyes.

How do you feel now? Lighter? I thought so.

What I want you to do is every time you have an interaction with this person or people, or anytime they even cross your mind…that moment that you feel yourself starting to put them back into that box, Think about just forgiving them.

Breathe in that forgiveness and then out.

Try to look at them now with this new perspective as seeing them for who they are are. Maybe they haven’t changed, maybe this is just how they are. But forgive them anyway and accept them.

Now is the time to take all those boxes from your mind library filled with people and situations and smash them into a million pieces!

Forgive, Accept, Let go.

You will feel so much more at peace and lighter in your being.. thank me later.